Man using common excuses for violence

Taking responsibility for your violence

It’s hard to face up to your own actions. You might want to deny responsibility for your behaviour. Partner blaming is often the most common way to do this.


Examples of partner blaming

  • You think they need to change – to stop or start doing something so you won’t be triggered
  • You’d rather focus on their behaviour
  • You minimise the behaviour – “It only happened a couple of times”, “It was just a slap”
  • You use excuses.

No matter how you feel, it is not okay to scare your partner or children. No one should live in fear of the people closest to them. No matter what they do it is not okay to hurt them.

You may try to tell yourself it’s not that bad. But you know it is. There are alternatives. Things can be different. MensLine Australia can help. Call us today on 1300 78 99 78


Further reading

Common excuses used to avoid taking responsibility


If you need to talk to someone, give one of our MensLine Australia counsellors a call on 1300 78 99 78 or access free video and online counselling.

MensLine Australia Changing for Good program

Changing for Good is a program to help men stop using violence in their family and relationships.

We work with men to help them recognise their abusive behaviours and end their use of violence. By providing ongoing support, specialist counselling and resources, our goal is to help men make and sustain changes in violent or abusive behaviours as well as attitudes that support violent behaviours. By working with men to end their use of violence, we help to increase the safety of women and children who have or are experiencing domestic or family violence. To find out more, visit Changing for Good.