Staying safe

The information here is general. Everyone’s situation is different, so the safest plan is one you make with help from a specialist service. 1800RESPECT, the National Domestic, Family and Sexual Violence Counselling Service, can help you build a plan that fits your situation. You can call them on 1800 737 732 or use online chat on their website. 

Before you start, one important note: if you think someone may be monitoring your phone, devices or accounts, take care when making changes. Changing settings, numbers or accounts can sometimes alert the person using violence and make things less safe. Where you can, plan these steps with a support service first. 

In an emergency, always call 000. 

The safety planning information below is adapted from 1800RESPECT. 

Safety at home

• Speak to neighbours you know and trust and ask them to call the police on 000 if they hear violence or abuse. Some people who live in flats or apartments agree on a code, like a knock or a tap, so neighbours know to get help. 
• If you’re in assisted living, talk to a carer or someone you trust about what’s happening. 
• Have a safe place to go if you need to leave. Knowing you can stay with a friend can make it easier to act quickly. 
• Keep a list of important phone numbers somewhere separate from your phone, in case your phone is taken or checked. 
• If you can, keep a spare mobile phone with prepaid credit, so you can stay in touch without calls showing up on a shared phone bill or call log. 
• Have an escape plan ready for times when it doesn’t feel safe to stay.  

Making an escape plan

• Plan and practise the quickest way to leave each room in your home.  
• Pack a small escape bag in case you need to leave quickly. Useful things to include: spare keys, some cash, important papers, and a special toy for the kids. If you take regular medicine, keep a spare script in the bag. It can help to leave the bag at a trusted friend’s place rather than at home, in case you have to leave in a hurry.  
• Leave spare keys and copies of important papers, including bank and credit card details, with a family member, friend or someone you trust.  
• Let a trusted person know you may call on them if you need to leave quickly. Some people agree on a code word in advance, so you can signal for help even if the person using violence can hear you.  
• If you have a mobility issue or disability, arrange ahead of time for someone to come straight away if you call or text.  
• If you’re worried about a pet, the RSPCA’s Safe Bed for Pets program may be able to help. Contact your local RSPCA to see if it runs in your area.  
• If it’s safe to do so, keep a record of abusive or frightening incidents. This can help if you apply for a protection order later. 

Consider gathering some useful addresses and numbers:

• Local taxi services   
• 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 
• The closest crisis contact centre 
• The address of the local police station.

Safety after separation

• Look at ways to make your home more secure, like outdoor sensor lights, extra window or door locks, or gates if you can. Police will often do a security check of your home and suggest ways to make it safer, and some services or police have funds to help with the cost. 
• If you can, park on the street rather than in the driveway, so you can’t be blocked in. 
• Consider changing your mobile number and setting it to private. If you need to stay in contact about children, email can be a safer option, and it keeps a record of your conversations. 
• Ask government agencies, utilities, doctors, schools and others to keep your details private. Many utility companies now have family violence policies, so it’s worth asking. 
• Tell your children’s school or childcare what’s happening, so they know to be alert. 
• Get a PO Box for important mail or keep your home address private. 
• Talk to a domestic and family violence service, a community lawyer or the police about getting a protection order if you don’t already have one. An order can alert police to the risks in advance and can be written to keep the person using violence away from your workplace. 
• If you’re moving, choose a well-lit, populated area where you can. 
• Stay aware of who’s around you, and of anything out of place at home.

Safety in public or at work

• Park in a busy, public place. Avoid underground car parks, or if you have to use one, ask someone to walk you to your car. 
• If you see the person using violence, get to a public or busy place as soon as you can. 
• At work, you can ask to have calls and visitors screened through reception. If you work somewhere public, like a shopping centre, talk to security staff so they know the situation, and consider giving them a photo so they know who to watch for. 
• Change your routines where you can, catch different trains or trams, leave at different times, or shop in different places or online. 
• Tell your manager or security staff about any protection order that keeps the person using violence away from your work and keep a copy of the order at work or in your bag. 

For the most up to date information on safety planning plus more resources, please visit the 1800RESPECT website. 

Staying safe online

The information in this section is adapted from the eSafety Commissioner, the Australian Government’s independent online safety regulator. 

A person using violence may use technology to track, monitor, control or harass you. This is called technology-facilitated abuse, and it isn’t always easy to spot. 

Before you change anything, take care. Changing your settings, passwords or accounts can sometimes alert the person using violence and make things less safe, especially if you still live together or share care of children. Think through what’s safe for your situation, ideally with a support service, before you make changes. Please know that help is available. You can call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or use online chat on their website. 

Use a safe device 

• Where you can, use a device the person using violence can’t access: your own phone (if it isn’t being monitored), a trusted person’s device, or a computer at work or a public library. 
• If you reuse a phone, wipe it and set it up as new. Don’t restore it from a backup, as that can bring across shared accounts and any spyware. 
• Ask a local family violence worker about programs that provide safe phones. 

Protect your devices and accounts 

• Lock your devices with a fingerprint or face ID and change any passcodes the person using violence might know. 
• Use strong, hard-to-guess passwords or passphrases, and avoid details like birthdays or pets’ names. 
• Turn on multi-factor authentication where you can, and have the codes sent to a safe device. 
• Where it’s safe, create new accounts on a new email address, and don’t link or sync them to shared or ‘family’ accounts. 
• Install anti-virus software and keep your devices updated. Signs that monitoring software may be installed include the battery draining faster than usual, or the device running slowly. 

Watch your location

• Your location can be tracked through GPS and location services, ‘Find My’ features, fitness trackers, Bluetooth, toll tags and tap-on transport cards. 
• Turn location services off by default and only switch them on when you need them and it’s safe. 
• Review ‘Find My’ options and any shared or linked accounts, and check children’s devices too if it’s safe. 
• You can apply to be a ‘silent elector’ so your address isn’t on the public electoral roll, and Australia Post offers free mail redirection in some circumstances. 

Review your social media

• Set your privacy to the highest level and consider making your accounts private. 
• Turn off location tagging and check that photos don’t reveal where you are. 
• Be careful with tags, check-ins and your ‘active’ status, and ask friends not to tag you or your children.

Check your home technology 

• Make sure the person using violence can’t access smart-home devices like speakers, cameras, locks or alarms, and update the passwords on the accounts that control them. 

For the full and most up to date checklist, visit the eSafety Commissioner website.

Accessing support 24/7

If you are experiencing family or domestic violence, contact 1800RESPECT, the National Domestic, Family and Sexual Violence Counselling Service. They offer counselling and support for people experiencing or at risk of experiencing domestic, family and sexual violence. They can also connect you to services that can support you.  

If you or someone is in danger, please call 000 immediately.  

MensLine Australia counsellors are available 24/7, and our service is free. Call 1300 78 99 78 or click the chat button on the right to access online counselling. 

In an emergency, call 000 immediately.