Anger – Managing trigger events

Understanding trigger and setting events 

Have you ever noticed how the same situation affects you differently depending on your day? A minor issue that rolls off your back one morning might feel deeply frustrating on another.  

So why is this happening? 

To better understand anger, it’s helpful to understand what causes it to happen: triggers and setting events. A trigger is something that happens immediately before you get angry. A trigger is essentially the event that prompts the anger. A setting event occurs earlier, sometimes hours or even days before. A setting event doesn’t cause anger, but it can make you more susceptible to getting angry. 

“The difference between the responses to the same events are the setting events that come before it.” 

Here are some examples: 

Example 1 

A lack of sleep could be a setting event.  If you’re already tired, you might be more likely to become angry when faced with a minor frustration (the trigger) than if you were well-rested. 

Example 2 

You’re on the phone with a service provider about an account issue. After a good night’s sleep and a smooth morning, you find it easier to work through the problem systematically. But after a demanding day, you feel more impatient or irritable. 

Example 3 

While driving, getting cut off by another car can be a common trigger for anger. This immediate event can make you feel angry, but other times you might easily shrug it off. The setting events earlier in the day can affect how you react:  

• Struggled at work – upset 

• Took no breaks during the day – tired 

• Did not eat enough food during a meal break – hungry 

• Worried about a family member – stress 

Any of the reasons above may make you more susceptible to anger when the driving trigger occurs. Alternatively, if you had a relaxing day, a good meal, and are well-rested, the same trigger (being cut off) might not bother you as much. 

Managing your responses to anger triggers 

Understanding and identifying your triggers and setting events can help you better prepare for challenging situations and help you manage your responses more effectively. 

Before entering a situation with a potential trigger event, such as a busy commute, an important meeting, or a difficult conversation, take a moment to check in with yourself. Have you had any setting events that could increase your risk of responding with anger? Consider: 

• Am I feeling tired? 

• Am I hungry?  

• What other pressures am I dealing with today? 

• Overall, how is my stress level? 

“Knowing your setting and trigger events helps you prepare and respond more effectively to challenges.”

Techniques to manage your responses and anger 

When you recognise your setting events may put you under increased pressure, you can consider these approaches: 

• If possible, postpone going into a situation with a potential trigger until you feel better prepared and calmer.  

• Slow down and deepen your breath. Try taking five long, slow breaths. Focus on relaxing the muscles in your arms and face.  

• Use self-talk calming statements like: “You can handle this”, “Relax”, “I’m not going to let this get to me. Let’s take a few breaths.” 

• Learn relaxation techniques to help ease the physical tension in your body. 

• Find ways to problem-solve or manage the trigger events. For example, avoiding certain situations, finding alternatives, changing your environment, communicating more effectively, or developing new healthy coping strategies.  

 By understanding how a setting event can affect an anger trigger event, you can better prepare for challenging situations. This awareness can help you feel less angry and agitated, benefiting your wellbeing and relationships.  

If you have difficulty managing your anger, you can get professional support. You can contact your GP, who can refer you to specialist support, such as a psychologist. You can also call a free service such as MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78 to speak to a counsellor.  

More resources on anger management and relationships  

Managing Anger and anger management techniques 

The MensLine Australia Anger Management Toolkit has worksheets you can download to help you better manage your anger. 

The MensLine Australia Communication Toolkit has worksheets you can download to assist you in developing your communication skills in your relationships. 

 The Renovate Your Relationship booklet for men has practical advice on how to do the maintenance work beforehand so your relationship does not reach a crisis point. The booklet was developed by Relationships Australia Victoria and MensLine Australia. 

If you need to talk to someone, give one of our MensLine Australia counsellors a call on 1300 78 99 78 or click on the floating chat button on the right to access online counselling. We are here 24/7 and our service is free. 

If it is an emergency, please call 000.