Man upset talking on the phone

Talking about violence for the first time

Being honest with yourself about what has been happening is the first big step towards making the change that needs to happen. The second big step is telling someone else about what’s been happening.


“It takes a lot of courage to open up and talk about violence.”


Some people, when first opening up about abuse and domestic violence dive right in at the deep end. They admit they’ve been abusive, that they don’t like what’s been happening, and that they want to do something about it.

Other people are more tentative, edging their way towards the real issue. They might say there’s been a lot of arguments. That sometimes things get pretty heated. As the discussion goes on they add in more information. They get so frustrated when things don’t go their way. That sometimes there’s pushing and shoving, or other forms of control. And so on.

For many people it takes a few attempts before they are able to open up.

If you feel ready to open up, you can speak with a trained professional at MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78. Our counsellors are trained to understand you may be feeling embarrassed and ashamed and won’t add to those feelings.

Nothing will change until you speak up. It’s tough to talk, but you can do it. You have the choice to change.


If you need to talk to someone, give one of our MensLine Australia counsellors a call on 1300 78 99 78 or access free video and online counselling.

MensLine Australia Changing for Good program

Changing for Good is a program to help men stop using violence in their family and relationships.

We work with men to help them recognise their abusive behaviours and end their use of violence. By providing ongoing support, specialist counselling and resources, our goal is to help men make and sustain changes in violent or abusive behaviours as well as attitudes that support violent behaviours. By working with men to end their use of violence, we help to increase the safety of women and children who have or are experiencing domestic or family violence. To find out more, visit Changing for Good.