Tips for adults talking to their parents

Life is busy. In an ideal world, your parents would be a regular part of the mix, visiting them once a week or having lunch on a regular basis. But in reality, this is rarely the case. To help you maintain a lasting relationship with your parents (or at least be polite), we’ve compiled some tips.

To help you maintain a lasting relationship with your parents (or at least be polite), we’ve compiled some tips.

Life is busy – you may have a partner, kids, a job, friends, sports team to follow, and TV shows that you just have to watch. In an ideal world, your parents would be a regular part of the mix, visiting them once a week or having lunch on a regular basis. But in reality, this is rarely the case.

 

Tips to help maintain lasting relationships with your parents

 

Don’t rush

Avoid calling your parents when you’re already doing something else. They’ll hear that you are rushed, and you probably won’t be listening to what they are saying. When you visit, try not to text or check your phone while speaking to your parents. If you aren’t a big talker, that’s fine, and chances are your parents know that already, so even it is a brief conversation make sure it’s the only thing you are doing.

 

Share something about your life

By sharing information about your life, your parents will have a better understanding of the decisions you are making. Don’t just discuss the family and your childhood; instead, you can talk about your job or the sports team you are part of on the weekend. You may even find that you have more in common than you thought.

 

Do what you love together

Do an activity that you both enjoy doing. It can be something from your childhood like cooking together, or it could be going for a run or playing a puzzle.

 

Don’t constantly assess their situation

When your parents get older, you may be concerned about whether they can still live independently. When you visit, you may be tempted to check up on them – check the fridge for expired food, assess the cleanliness of the house – but your parents may feel that they are being criticised. Try to enjoy the time with the time, ask about their week, and make fewer suggestions on what they should be doing.

Of course, there will also be situations where you do intervene in an ailing parent’s life. These discussions can be hard, so you may want to ask open-ended questions. For example, “How are you managing your medication?” or “How do you feel about driving?”

 

You are an adult

It’s tempting to turn back into the child again when you’re around your parents. But if you want to be treated as an adult, then you need to act like an adult. You don’t want to revert to the frustrated child who doesn’t like being told what to do.

 

Set boundaries

If you feel like your parents don’t respect your choices and pass judgments on your decisions, such as a career change or finances, it may be time to set some boundaries. You can set which topics you won’t be discussing. You can respect your parents’ choices, but you need some space to build your confidence to make decisions.

Your parents and your family are likely to bring you joy and frustration, but hopefully, these tips can help you to achieve a healthy and balanced relationship.

 

MensLine Australia is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, with professional counsellors providing information and support for all emotional health and relationship issues. Call us on 1300 78 99 78 or access online counselling.

More from relationship advice for men

Social connections - past, present and future

We often talk about the power of connections and support networks, as having a strong circle of people around you is one of the single most beneficial ways to maintain your mental health.  Here’s how you can grow social connections from the past, present and future!

Read more

Reconnecting with friends

Never have we been more connected to everyone around us. Advances in technology have launched multiple social media platforms allowing us to be no more than just a few clicks away from connecting to someone, or anyone for that matter! Then why is it we’ve never felt more alone?

Read more

Resolving conflict

Conflict will happen from time to time in your life, but if you deal with it properly, it doesn’t have to be destructive. Here, MensLine Australia looks at the signs of damaging conflict and what you can do.

Read more

Active listening

Listening is an important part of effective communication. We have conversations throughout the day, but sometimes we’re not listening as well as we could.

Read more

Tips for adults talking to their parents

Life is busy. In an ideal world, your parents would be a regular part of the mix, visiting them once a week or having lunch on a regular basis. But in reality, this is rarely the case. To help you maintain a lasting relationship with your parents (or at least be polite), we’ve compiled some tips.

Read more

Resolving conflict

Conflict will happen from time to time in your life, but if you deal with it properly, it doesn’t have to be destructive. Here, MensLine Australia looks at the signs of damaging conflict and what you can do.

Read more

Active listening

Listening is an important part of effective communication. We have conversations throughout the day, but sometimes we’re not listening as well as we could.

Read more

Tips for adults talking to their parents

Life is busy. In an ideal world, your parents would be a regular part of the mix, visiting them once a week or having lunch on a regular basis. But in reality, this is rarely the case. To help you maintain a lasting relationship with your parents (or at least be polite), we’ve compiled some tips.

Read more