Talking about suicide

Talking about suicide: How will talking about it help?

Talking about suicide with someone can be very difficult. You may be worried that they will tell you to stop overreacting or that such thoughts are a sign of weakness. You might feel embarrassed or ashamed. You might think keeping it to yourself rather than risk telling someone is easier. However, if you choose the right person, talking with them about how you feel will usually help.

Talking to someone you trust can help because:

• It reminds you that you are not alone.
• It can offer some stress relief.
• It can help you to break down your problem into more manageable parts.
• It can provide you with a fresh perspective on your situation.
• Expressing your feelings can bring some clarity and help you move forward.

Make sure to choose someone who you trust and can be honest with. It can be a friend or family member, a doctor, psychologist, counsellor, teacher, coach, or someone else in your life.

You can also talk to a counsellor on a helpline such as MensLine Australia or Suicide Call Back Service, which are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

If you’ve noticed a mate of yours is showing signs he may be suicidal, read our article on Helping a Mate for advice on how you can help.

Talking about suicide: What do I say?

Be clear and honest with the person about all the things that are troubling you, including your suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Begin by talking about what is stressing or upsetting you. Let them know how you’ve been struggling and how you are feeling.

Listed below are some ways to start the conversation. You can adapt these or use your own words.

• “I have been having a difficult time lately. I am wondering if we can talk about it.”
• “I am feeling really upset and worried about my thoughts at the moment.”
• “Things have felt a bit out of control recently, and I am feeling really upset. I need to talk about it.”

This can be a difficult conversation, so make sure you are comfortable, take your time, and start when you are ready.

If your initial conversation does not provide you with the help you need, don’t give up. Instead, you might consider talking to a health professional or calling a crisis helpline.

If it is an emergency or you are at immediate risk of harm, call triple zero (000).

Talking about suicide: Talking with a professional

When talking to a health professional about your thoughts on wanting to end your life or hurting yourself, it is important to let them know whether you have:

• been thinking more often or in more detail about how you would end your life or hurt yourself.
• access to the means to carry out these ideas or taken steps to obtain these means.
• thought about when and how you would end your life or hurt yourself.
• tried to hurt yourself or end your life before.
• made a definite decision to end your life or hurt yourself.

Telling a health professional this information will help you get the right support to guide you through these stressful times.

Here are some examples of how you might talk about how you are feeling and the thoughts you are having:

• “I have had thoughts of ending my life, and I have been thinking about how I might do it.”
• “I can’t stop thinking about hurting myself, and I have a plan about how and when I am going to do it.”
• “These thoughts of ending my life are getting too much for me, and I am worried that I am going to do it.”

A health professional can also help you develop a suicide safety plan. To learn more, read our article on Making a Safety Plan.

Accessing professional support

Feeling suicidal can be an overwhelming and painful experience, but it is not something you have to bear alone. Asking for help is an essential step towards getting the support you need.

You can start by talking to your doctor. Tell your doctor about your thoughts and any symptoms you may be experiencing. Your doctor can then assess what support you need, and they may also provide you with a referral for other services.

You can also search for professionals and services in your area using one of the national directories below:

• Lifeline service finder is a directory of free or low-cost health and community services available in Australia.
• Healthdirect service finder is a comprehensive directory of healthcare professionals and services in Australia.
• Medicare Mental Health can direct you to mental health support.

You can also call MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78 or call one of the free telephone crisis lines that are open 24/7:

• Lifeline 13 11 14
• Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
• 13YARN 13 92 76
• Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800

In an emergency

If you are in immediate danger or concerned for your safety in any way:

• Call 000 and request an ambulance. Stay on the line, speak clearly, and be ready to answer the operator’s questions.
• Go to your local hospital’s emergency department.

Experiencing thoughts of suicide can be scary. You might feel isolated, believing that nobody can relate to what you are going through. It’s reassuring to know that many people who have had similar thoughts have found a path forward. Remember, seeking help and support is a brave and important step towards healing and recovery. Your life has value, and there are people who want to help you through this tough time.

If you need to talk to someone, give one of our MensLine Australia counsellors a call on 1300 78 99 78 or by clicking on the floating chat button on the right. Our service is free and available 24/7.

You can also call Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. This service provides free 24/7 support to anyone feeling suicidal.  

If it is an emergency, call 000.