Helping yourself when feeling suicidal

Although you might feel painfully alone right now, it is important for you to know that other people have felt like ending their lives too. Having suicidal thoughts can be a response to feeling as if your life is out of your control; that it will never get better. You might also think that your family and friends would be better off without you.

“Having suicidal thoughts can be a response to feeling as if your life is out of your control.”

Other people thinking about suicide will have had similar thoughts to your own.

Above all, it is important to remember that suicidal feelings dissipate. Experiencing these thoughts does not mean you need to act on them.

Helping yourself if you’re feeling suicidal

The following are things other people found helpful when feeling overwhelmed to the point of wanting to harm or kill themselves. You might find it useful to experiment with some of these ideas and keep a list of the ones you’ve found helpful so you can refer back to them when you need to.

• Think about another time where you might have faced a similarly stressful time in your life and what you did to cope. Can you do the same things now?
• Think or write about the last time you felt a little better than you do now
• Stay focused on the present, as worrying about whether things will ever improve often just leads to feeling more overwhelmed. You can do this by breaking up your day and planning a short activity that will distract you, and then plan your next activity once you’ve finished that one
• Listening to music that can improve your mood
• Having a bath
• Sitting outside or going for a short walk
• Spending time with your loved ones
• Watching a favourite DVD, television program or video
• Drawing/sketching/painting
• Writing
• Reconnecting with areas of your life that give you a sense of meaning e.g. spirituality, social service, your vocation
• Taking some time out to treat yourself to a small thing you ordinarily enjoy and savour it.

Take care of your physical health

While it isn’t easy when you’re feeling so overwhelmed, eating well, maintaining a daily routine and keeping active can all help you feel more able, and help you to keep on top of things.

Relaxation techniques

Learn about other relaxation and coping techniques. There are a range of relaxation techniques that people find useful to reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. You can learn more about these by searching the internet for reputable websites and visiting your local library or bookshop.

Some examples of other relaxation techniques are:

• Body scans: Also known as ‘progressive muscle relaxation’. Lie down or recline in a chair. Taking slow breaths, and beginning with your feet, tense the muscles for 10 seconds and then release them for 15 seconds. Work your way up the different muscle groupings of your body.
• Breathing exercises: Find a comfortable position, and either close your eyes or focus on something in the room. Begin by taking a slow breath in through your nose, hold that breath, and then slowly release the breath out through your mouth. Once you’ve exhaled hold your breath again, then repeat this process until you feel a little calmer. You may find it easier to concentrate on this by counting slowly up to 3.
• Mindfulness: Rather than trying to stop your upsetting thoughts and feelings, try to acknowledge and accept them without judging them. Also know that you experience a range of thoughts and feelings beyond those you are having now, each state is temporary and will pass.

Accessing professional support

Feeling suicidal can be an overwhelming and painful experience, but it is not something you have to bear alone. Asking for help is an important step towards getting the support you need.

In an emergency

If you are in immediate danger, or concerned for your safety in any way:

• Call 000 and request an ambulance. Stay on the line, speak clearly, and be ready to answer the operator’s questions
• Attend your local hospital’s emergency department
• Call your local Public Emergency Mental Health Service.

Each of these emergency services teams are specially trained to support people in crisis, including people feeling suicidal, and are able to keep you safe.

There are a number of services and professionals available to help you through this difficult time. You may wish to speak to someone over the phone, or prefer to seek help face to face. Whichever you choose, it’s important that you are as honest about your situation and the way you’re feeling as possible, so you can get the support you need. Talking to someone about such a painful issue can be difficult, so you may want to check out our How to talk about suicide page for information and tips on how to start a conversation.

The Suicide Call Back Service – 1300 659 467 provides immediate support to anyone feeling suicidal. Access online counselling.