Man upset talking on the phone

Talking about violence for the first time

Being honest with yourself about what has been happening is the first big step towards making the change that needs to happen. The second big step is telling someone else about what’s been happening.


It takes a lot of courage to open up and talk about violence.


Some people, when first opening up about abuse and domestic violence dive right in at the deep end. They admit they’ve been abusive, that they don’t like what’s been happening, and that they want to do something about it.

Other people are more tentative, edging their way towards the real issue. They might say there’s been a lot of arguments. That sometimes things get pretty heated. As the discussion goes on they add in more information. They get so frustrated when things don’t go their way. That sometimes there’s pushing and shoving, or other forms of control. And so on.

For many people it takes a few attempts before they are able to open up.

If you feel ready to open up, you can speak with a trained professional at MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78. Our counsellors are trained to understand you may be feeling embarrassed and ashamed and won’t add to those feelings.

Nothing will change until you speak up. It’s tough to talk, but you can do it. You have the choice to change.


If you’re using family or domestic violence and are ready to change your behaviour, find out more about our men’s behaviour change program, Changing for Good